My most dominant image of masculinity is that of the Connoisseur Giver. The Extravagant Lover. That nature and Biology has endowed our gender with that potential is I think undeniable. The roles of warrior, hunter, judge, worker, and king are all important male archetypes as well and worthy of emulation. But from my perspective, the Great Lover trumps them all.
That Master of the Art of the Gift. The one who studies his recipient, much like a predator diligently studies his prey before the kill, following them for weeks and perhaps months before the pounce, discerning each move and inflexion. Except his aim is to delight…. to create extasy not pain, to overwhelm with kindness not brutally destroy. Then with great stealth and masterful skill, at just the right time, in just the right way, he releases just the right gift and utterly slays his love victim.
Like the predator, he takes the victim’s breath away. With similar intent to overwhelm, (but with joy, not terror) his ultimate satisfaction is that look in the eye of the subject of his ardent pursuit at the moment of the extravagant release of the GIFT. He glories in their surprise. His pride, very much like the hunter, is to utterly win the heart of his beloved and keep it as his trophy.
Perhaps the highest form of that archetype is the Sage/Patriarch. Having learned the art of the Gift in the school of romance, and having graduated to the school of fatherhood, His Gift goes beyond sperm, the trinkets of lavish romance, the dutiful then bountiful provision of Fatherhood and now becomes the WORD. His Beloved transcends woman and children and extends now to wider community. The one whose Gift of Word becomes the source of prosperity – the very spirit of community.
He becomes Protector of the peace. Creator of the Harmony. Defender of the Just. That Patriarch whose speech is the bread that sustains community life and growth, that brings to veneration the most stubborn opponents, the Exalted Blessor without which the community would become again a wild, un-tame and burdensome place.
I’m not sexist to have a positive gender image. Obviously women can nurture their masculine side. In fact, for me, maturity is defined by transcending the particular and identifying with the whole; which for men means nurturing their feminine side while standing grounded in their masculinity, and for women the opposite. Maturity means needing or lacking nothing. Self sufficiency. Both genders come with their strengths and weaknesses, but maturity is coming to a full complement within oneself.
Long live the warrior and the king, but if we must eat our words, we might as well enjoy the meal, and the Golden Rule of Love is at the foundation of the Vision of Justice on which ideal human society is anchored. Our apparently accursed communities need their men to recover the ancient Art of the Blessing. Men skilled in the prowess of the Gift. And May all men in our society aspire to Sagehood, and the mastery of all prerequisite subordinate roles along the path.
YeKengalé 